Friday, October 26, 2012

...to jump into a sulfur hot tub with an old Hungarian guy

38degrees C isn't really that hot for a hot tub but I still felt slightly uncomfortable in the sulfur bath as the couple next to me participated in a much too vigorous PDA show. I mean, getting hot and bothered might happen more often in a steamy, yet therapeutic, bathhouse but the couple I was sharing my large tub with went at it without a care in the world! I could have jumped into different skin-cleansing bath but I was so enthralled I just had to watch, and no, I wasn't watching the couple... I was watching the old man across the tub who was eyeing the couple with this unexplainable expression plastered to his sweaty face. Half-disgust, half-lust but completely hilarious.

Budapest, Hungary was my home for the duration of the mid-semester break. It was in this city where my attempt to dive into the Hungarian culture lead me to Szechenyi Thermal Bath and subsequently the situation I wrote about above. I had been told about the "famous" bathing culture from someone at church so when I packed for my early Ryanair flight I made sure my bathing suit found its way into my backpack.

Hungarian Bath House Culture: 
(A synopsis) 
Big buildings, many rooms, many baths with numerous temperatures, several very hot saunas and MANY people of all ages/genders/classes converging to enjoy them. An experience indeed!

          Also, NOTHING is in English so be prepared to walk around aimlessly in search of the bath rooms. Too far to the right is the women's changing room (oops) and too far to the left is the super exquisite massage room, complete with fruit, twigs and berries... (oops)

The language barrier was minimal though, as most people will speak English to the best of their ability, but trying to pronounce even the most basic of words is a challenge

thank you : köszönöm
excuse me : elnézést
cat : macska
how many Hungarians can fit in this tub? : hány Magyar fér ebben kádban?

I basically spent the majority of the time pointing at things and hoping I would be understood. My best attempt at communicating with the indigenous happened at a bar one night...
         We sat down at table to enjoy some semi-local beers when all of a sudden this girl across the room decided to empty the contents of her stomach on a bench. Ok, bluntly, she puked everywhere and left. We were mortified, of course, but hey! We hadn't finished our drinks yet so we stayed and cheered on the bar tender as he mopped up the mess. Where was I going with this story? Ah, yes, so later on two girls sat down on the same bench that was previously occupied by throw-up so I went over to them and tried to explain to them why they should sit elsewhere. My first attempt resulted in an accidental awkward staring contest. My second, slower, attempt made them think that I had thrown up on the bench. My third attempt, complete with a mock demonstration of what throwing-up looks like, convinced them enough to change benches. In the end I should have just said... "Valaki hánytam a padon!"

Budapest is truly an incredible city. It felt like we had walked into a third-world country, to an extent. One of the best parts of the trip was a museum called The House of Terror which contained a history of Hungary from WWII to 1990, the first year Hungary wasn't considered communist. The building itself held a certain amount of "terror" as it used to be the headquarters of the Nazi regime in Hungary. Nate and I both thought how incredible it was that the city escaped communism only 2 years before we were born.

"Traveling is the only thing you can spend money on that makes you wealthier" was a quote I saw while in Budapest. Now, Mitt Romney will certainly disagree because technically investments have made him a millionaire but, Bain Capital aside, I really feel like traveling does in fact make you a better person. I'm not trying to equate wealth in the financial sense to making you a better person, but the real wealth found in travel is the new experiences and knowledge that you keep from a trip like this one to Budapest.
      If i'm not making sense, call me and we can talk about it



Alas, I have crossed the half-way mark in this EuroTrip. Alas, I miss everyone (even siblings). Alas, many more adventures to come I am sure!


Monday, September 17, 2012

...to go to Ireland, to call an ambulance at 4am

SHMLACK

The sound of a face smashing off a brick pavement is disgusting. It's not a hard sound, like the dropping a rock, it has more substance, more flesh. A unique sound indeed. It was this sound that made me turn around to see my new friend, Manny, face down on the Irish pavement at 3am, knocked out cold.

But that was 3am, let's start this Irish tale where it truly began, 11am at Isaacs Hostel, Dublin Ireland.

We pulled into the hostel after our early Ryanair flight and dropped our bags in the locker room. By "we" I mean Nate, Jenn, Cassie, Steph, Amanda and myself; 6 American's on their first Irish journey, 6 people who are completely clueless. We couldn't check in to our room until 1 so we began a very long journey around the city that included, but was not limited too, Temple Bar, Guinness Factory, a 200 year old prison and every other iconic Dublin tourist trap we could find. We walked, and we walked, and we walked walked walked all around the city and explored our home of 48 hours.

I experienced a city that was dirtier, more confusing, cheaper and in my opinion better than London. It just had the feeling that you didn't have to rock a collared shirt to take piss and the amount of Bentleys and Ferraris I saw was zero. This place was sweet, but the walk was only the beginning.

That night we joined a Hostel Pub Crawl which, for those who don't know what that is, is a guided journey around several pubs and restaurants where we would get free shots and discounted drinks. For 12 euros its a great deal! We started at 9pm at the Mercantile with a half-pint of Guinness and meandered our way around the city. I brought no money with me on the crawl so I wouldn't be tempted to buy any drinks so to keep my sober self busy I started meeting people. I jumped from table to table through the night looking for other college students with the tell-tale orange Pub Crawl wrist band and met people from all over the world. At midnight Nate and the girls were ready to head back to the hostel, but not I! They left and I remained with 4 guys who were staying at Isaacs Hostel too. Manny, Diy, Lile and Mason were my new companions as 12am rolled around.

After watching Manny throw down a pint in 3 seconds, and partaking in my first real Jeager Bomb, we left the bar with the few Pub Crawlers who remained and headed to Dandilion, Dublin's #1 club. It was sick. Three floors down opens into this massive club and bar where we would spend three hours dancing and drinking and having a merry Irish time.

In Europe, drinks are bought in rounds. For example, if there are five people in a group you buy five drinks, and then the next person buys five drinks, and so on and so forth. I was put in the round even though I explicitly said that I didn't have money for even one drink, much less a round, and all of a sudden I was 6 drinks deep and it was 2am. Awesome.

Also, in Europe, clubs have a much different atmosphere than in America. In America you go to a club, or a house, or a party and you look for someone to dance with; and by dance I mean grind. In Europe you go to a club, or whatever, and you actually dance! You jump around and dance with girls face to face and ahh its so much better! Needless to say I lit up the floor as usual, people love the worm in almost every setting!

At 3am the club music ended with Robbie Williams - Angels and everyone filed out to their next adventure. Being 3am I was dreading by 6am wake up and couldn't wait to get to bed, but alcohol had other ideas. That was when I heard it...

SHMLACK

...and I started running toward Manny who was face down in the street with blood dripping out of his mouth. We got him onto his back and Diy called 999 (911 in the US) to get an ambulance. By the time Diy got through to the operator Manny was able to sit up so he nixed the call and helped him lean up against a building to check him out. Then, this man came up to us and thought we were mugging him! For real! Once we reassured him that we were not in fact stealing Manny's money, but were trying to help him out, the guy left only to be replaced by two other blokes who thought the same thing! GEEZE! This time, the two guys decided to call 999 instead and an ambulance showed up with a paramedic who gave Manny a look-see and deemed him 'ok'. Manny went with Diy in a taxi back to the hostel while Mason, Lile and I walked.

4:30am and I crawled into bed with my head abuzz from the nights adventure, and drinks. I fell asleep for what felt like 10 seconds and was awoken by Nate's 5:50 alarm signaling the start of our next day. Tour day. We hopped on a bus and went all the way over to the other side of Ireland, specifically the Cliffs of Moher and the surrounding countryside. It was incredible! The bus navigated the coastline on the tiniest roads I've ever seen! Nate and I felt the Atlantic ocean and we all considered the journey one of the best parts of the trip. Ireland is gorgeous!

All good things to come to an end though and we hopped back on a plane the next morning and made it back to London in one piece. A whirlwind adventure for sure, and one not to be forgotten any time soon!

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

...to get mugged (not really)

Turning off of the path trodden upon by millions of tourist's feet can be an exciting experience, and Gumtree is leading the way.

   We needed a fridge, plain and simple. You can't drink cold beer, you just can't, and bars are way to expensive for anyone on a budget. SO! What do you do? Go to Gumtree, the pseudo Craigslist, and start hunting for a cheap fridge relatively close to you, and that was exactly what I did. Finally, a deal popped up, a real banger, 35pounds for what looked like a small mini-fridge, a mini-fridge perfect for our dorm! As I emailed the seller and made arrangements for the pickup, students paraded around the halls and through our room on their way to a night of pub crawling and club nuke-ing. Not I, not Nate, we were on a mission. 9pm rolled around and we finally had a destination, stop T on bus 18, 30min away. We walked out through the main doors like the other students but instead of dressing like classy Londoners we threw up our hoods and skulked below the cameras looking ghetto as possible, we were going fridge hunting.

   We crammed on bus 18 which was packed with people leaving the main part of the city, presumably toward their respective homes, or to jail. As we shuttered along we noticed the buildings growing smaller, the lights becoming dimmer, and the stops becoming fewer. Finally, stop T showed up and we hopped off the bus into the litter filled street in a part of London that no sane tour company would ever bring customers too. We were in the middle-east. No, not literally, but even though I can't read Arabic I know what it looks like and the majority of shops were covered in either Arabic names, or Arabic graffiti. The diesel bus leaves the stop as an army of police officers fly by at 60mph, sirens blaring; it was too late to turn around now.



   I pulled out my iPhone to look at the map, instantly assuming I would be jumped, and tried to find the correct road to take off the main drag. Upon finding it we ventured forth through the darkness towards something called Jubilee Centre, our meeting point. Apparently the Mayor of London spent very little money on this part of town, with its minimal lighting and trashed streets; can't say I blame him. We passed fully covered women sitting on their stoops, staring at us through the slits in their clothing, expressionless. Tv's blared from flat's windows in foreign languages and uncut lawns sprawled across the sidewalk we were walking on; this fridge better be worth it.


   Finally, we find our man. Neil, I think his name was, stands on the curb wearing a sleeveless collared shirt and a wicker bucket hat. I was amazed he was English, having not seen anyone white in 20 minutes, but I was no less worried about being mugged and beaten, especially being an American. Neil made a joke about Crystal Meth dealers, something about how he thought we would be one of those, and he unlocked his gate to his flat. After unlocking his gate he unlocked his door, and then unlocked his house, and then we saw it... the fridge. It was working, nice and cold as Neil promised. It was Bosch and "...Bosch appliances run forever!" Neil reassured. It must have been a 20 year old fridge, but as Neil counted the 35pounds under the yellow light of his porch our journey with the fridge was going to begin whether we wanted it to or not.


   Nate and I hefted the MUCH larger than expected fridge out of the gate and started making our way back towards the bus station. This time, instead of being sketched out, we were the ones who looked sketchy. Just two Americans, walking though Pakistan with a fridge at 10pm, no big deal. We found a street with more lights this time and set down at the bus station. As the bus pulled up to pick us up he opened the doors only to wave at us frantically and shout NO! He drove off. Crap. Well, we thought about trying the next bus, crossing our fingers for a more lenient bus driver, but when we read the digital sign that told people the estimated time for the next bus it said "NO BUSES EXPECTED FOR 30 MINUTES" double crap.

   So we hailed a taxi, loaded the fridge in the seats, and made our 10pound journey back to Regent Park. The taxi driver even gave us 2pounds off because, as he said it, "I feel bad for you guys." Well geeze, if people gave me money every time they felt bad for me I'd be in good shape! But, we thanked the driver and made our way into our dorm and started cleaning the filthy fridge with hand-soap and water, mixed up in an old Coke bottle.

Clean that fridge!!
   And that was it. We woke up the next morning, turned on the fridge, and to our delight it fired up and cooled down, it even has a freezer! Our goal is to charge people for keeping their drinks cold, hopefully we'll have the fridge paid off by the time we leave. Until then, we have the coolest dorm room in Reid hall, we have a fridge.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

...to go to London!


London 2012
It appears I have changed locations, dramatically. This blog will now be giving updates of my adventures (with Nate) of London and oh boy, it’s been ridiculous already.
Plane: Freaking smallest plane ever. I’ve been on a bigger plane to Wisconsin!
Orientation: Slept through the whole thing so you’ll have to ask Nate (who was probably taking notes) what it was all about.
Public Transportation: Easiest thing ever. Cleanest thing ever.
People: Nice. Kind. They say “Cheers!” as “Thank you” and I’ve already decided to adopt it.
Ok, so what have we been doing? Exploring. This city is immense and overwhelmingly exciting. We have been out almost every night to a different location pretending to not look like tourists. Big Ben, Piccadilly Circus, Buckingham Palace and so on and so forth. Once we learned that you stood on the right side of escalators, and walked on the left, traveling around the city became much less embarrassing and much easier. We’re Oyster Card pro’s, swiping that thing erryday, on the busses as well as the trains. We’ve tried to find pubs and bars (harder than you might think) to buy some rounds at and generally messed around the city as best as possible.
Our pre-term-get-together happened on the Thames River on a pretty good sized party boat. The boat gave us some amazing views of London’s coolest attractions, all at night. We popped a champagne bottle (courtesy of Tayeb) and hung out on the boat’s deck just in awe of life. It was an incredible night, a night that will probably never happen again in my life. It was as if I was suddenly transported into luxury for 4 hours, an amazing 4 hours.
Tonight was much different, but no less exciting. After explaining to people that I was going to church to worship God, and not going to Club Church to rage on ecstasy, I set off with a map in hand to find Victor who would be showing me the venue. I knew Victor, through Roo, through Ashely, through Windfall and we met a tube station in Euston. Along with a fantastic message the church held a great deal of wonderful people, and a lot of them students. Looks like God put me in contact with the right people this summer!
Alright, I know this was a quick update so hopefully I’ll have more time to write in the future. Cheers!

Friday, August 24, 2012

...to have the summer of my life


                Even though this summer has been different in every way imaginable from my ‘typical’ summer, it ends just the same; cold nights, colder mornings and trees hinting of fall with their premature color changes. Of course, ‘busy’ is used again to describe the last few weeks I’ve spent up here but this time it’s been a different type of busy. Guiding has finally become a more relaxing activity and I’ve been able to focus more on kayaking and spending time with the people I’ve met up here in Maine. As the summer progressed I was able to see my skill at navigating the Kennebec get sharper day by day and it makes me realize how outright awful I was at this guiding thing at the beginning of the year. Like, first year guides suck, I was no exception. But now I have a handle on it, (I think) and I can worry more about making a funny face for the camera, than trying to avoid Good-Bye hole with a boat full of camp kids.


                Two big things happened this past week. One being “Guide Olympics” and the second being a trip to Montreal that was utterly amazing.
                Guide Olympics? Yep, Olympics for guides, not even kidding. We had thought about making a team and entering but sadly finding six team-mates was easier said than done for Windfall so we watched the games instead and made mental plans for next year. Basically, it’s an evening of fun for guides of all companies (except Northern Outdoors(because they suck)) to get together and compete in various events such as… The boat stack, the trailer stack, the guide flip and of course… the beer chug. It was an eventful night for sure, I haven’t been around so many drunk people since UNH, but Windfall’s sober presence was felt in the community. I guess Windfall had never been to Guide Olympics before, ever, so this year Mason and I made sure we got our team there and we had an excellent night. Next year though, we’re competing!
                The other big event was Mason, Mitch and I’s trip to Montreal to surf the Lachine rapids. Basically, we drove 9 hours round trip to surf one wave, and it was so worth it. We left Jackman at 11pm and made it to Magog QB at 2am, found a campsite and slept under the stars with our boats close at hand. The next morning we drove to Montreal and started kayaking around 9am on this one wave called Big Joe. It was the perfect surf wave. A behemoth wall of smooth water that kayakers dream of surfing. It was such a sick wave that there was actually a stand up surfer surfing it. Like, on a surfboard. It’s hard to describe how cool this place was and we spent almost 9 hours lapping the wave and hitting it as many times as possible. Hopefully I’ll be able to make a quick edit from the GoPro shots we got during the day. Oh, and a sidenote, this section of rapids opened up into a bay so if you had to pull your skirt, you would have to swim for three miles... Kind of scary? Yes!
This was our campsite, no tent required

                I know that the amount of detail in this post is lacking but its hard to describe everything on paper, or, computer. If you really want to experience what you're reading you need to come to Maine! Yes, the summer is over, but if its God’s will I’ll be here next summer and those who didn’t make it up will have a second chance :)
                So that is it for the summer portion of the blog. I want to thank everyone who made this dream summer a reality. Thank you Michelle for Facebooking me and putting the idea of this summer on the table, it was the best summer of my life on so many levels. I know that I will be leaving Jackman Maine a stronger person physically (Have you seen the pictures of me on the river? I’m ripped! Jk) but more importantly I’ll be leaving a stronger person spiritually. I’ve been able to make so many new friends and acquaintances and work for an incredible organization. Thank you parents, grandparents, friends, bosses, coworkers and everyone else who encouraged me, this summer rocked.
                The next portion of this blog will be London. Nate and I will be stepping on a plane this Wednesday and heading to Europe for an entire semester. I’ll be leaving Jackman Maine (population 900) and entering London (population 8,174,100), but I can’t wait.
                So long for now!

Monday, August 6, 2012

...to do some overdue updates, and break a window with my face

I think now would be an appropriate time to officially put the FAFSA fiasco in the rear view mirror and re-focus myself on writing about my summer again. The last few weeks have been busy, and that is not an understatement. Part of the reason I've been unable to gather my thoughts onto the internet is that I haven't had any time to do so! It's been cray cray up here in Jackman. Rafting, kayaking, shuttling and hunting geese have kept me quite occupied. Geese you say? Well... I'll get to that.

First off, have you ever been mudding in a 15 passenger van? I'm going to creep out on a bendy limb here and say... probably not. Another part of our duties here is to do some shuttling for local (or not so local) organizations. Sometimes this includes dropping kids off and then picking them up elsewhere a few days later, or, in this case, driving them to an extremely remote place in the middle of the woods, dropping them off and leaving them behind. This shuttle was one of those. Kyle and I packed two 15 passenger vans full of screeching children, and chaperones that acted as such, and drove them on one of the worst roads I have ever seen to their destination. When I say "worst roads" I honestly mean it. I think that they built them near bogs so they would become purposefully washed out, and here I am in a massive van driving through 3ft deep mud bogs with a bunch of kids bragging about their respective hickies! Gah!

Another exciting thing we did up here was what we call, a Night Run! Ernie, the man who runs the dam, gives the rafting community a chance to go rafting in the dead of night on the Kennebec. We loaded up on a bus filled with more beer cans than people (not ours of course) and headed to the dam at 10pm equipped with flashlights, glowsticks, RedBull and yes lots and lots of alcohol (once again, not ours). The run, as you can probably imagine, was crazy. You couldn't see anything, nothing, literally nothing. BUT IT WAS AWESOME!! Seth guided our boat and we attempted to surf everything in the whole river and we even flipped the boat. It was so fun, even after losing three paddles. At one point we were surfing in this hole and I was able to get out of the boat and stand on the rock that was creating the surf-hole in the middle of the river. From the rock, which was submerged in about 4-6" of water, I spun the boat around and around. Now, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about but if you do than you know, it was sick.

Side not, I just broke my boss's office window with my face. It was really an accident. I was looking at the sky, then I shifted my gaze down towards the parking lot to say hello to Tyler and my face smashed the glass and broke it. I patched it with scotch tape, there is no way he will notice. Well, he could read this, or, actually that will probably be the first thing he notices in the morning anyway.



Alright! This is it for now... except for these pictures of me kayaking the Kennebec...




I also think I broke my big toe today, a paddle landed on it. It really hurts and its all black and blue. 

Alright!! I'll write again soon!!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

...to be put in uncomfortable situations

So I've been doing stuff.

Guiding trips on the reg now along with my fellow full-timers, learning new stuff everyday and making ends from frenemies.

Our first multi-boat trip that we did this year was, well, mostly a failure. Something that is very important when guiding these trips is to always keep good spacing between your own boat and the other boats in the trip. Now, this was our first time, but it was about as miserable as it could have been.

Look at these... http://www.rapidshootersmaine.com/windfall/2012/0707k/boat02/index.htm ... This is Kyle's boat, and there is Kyle, along with Me and then Marissa all in the same picture, which shouldn't happen, basically ever. Marissa has some incredible facial expressions courtesy of Rapid Shooters. And there is Kyle up front, smiling to the camera, oblivious to the carnage a few yards behind him, oops. I remember dropping into Big Mama, looking behind me, and thinking (for a few scary seconds) that the boat behind me would land on my boat and crush my innocent customers. BUT. It wasn't to be. Everyone was safe and fine and we all learned some, very, important lessons.

The ten boat trip went quite a bit better this past Tuesday. For Windfall, that is almost the maximum. Add camp kids and we had a recipe for crazy muffins that the river was about to bake. But, bake it did not and we had a great trip in some great weather.

Now, story time... I'm going to use the most politically correct terms I can conjure up when writing this so let your imagination run wild... I don't like people touching me. I don't like people in my bubble, I don't like people dragging me into the water and I definitely don't like people "grazing certain zones of my body with their metacarpus in a quick, repetitive, manner". Yeah, I definitely don't like that. In fact, I don't like watching other people touch themselves in a strange, out of context, manner. But there she went. This customer, under NO provocation, came to me and decided that it would be appropriate and timely to show me her "awkward salmon". Immediately I knew I didn't want to know what ever the "awkward salmon" was so when she asked me...

"Do you want to see my awkward salmon?" I said... "No"

But this particular person, an individual whose BMI rating was above the recommended level (according to BBC Health), bends her mass downward, takes her hand, and starts slapping her thighs. Right thigh, left thigh, right thigh, left thigh, slap, slap, slap, isthishappeningrightnow, slap, slap. I was dumbstruck. It was like watching a car crash, so horrible but you're just transfixed because it was so mind bending that averting your gaze is impossible. All of a sudden, the slapping stopped. I didn't say anything to this girl, who was now looking at me with a facial expression of pure joy, but instead turned directly around and starting looking into the woods. I hoped that maybe I would see a squirrel humping an acorn, or a deer being shot, or maybe even a bear eating someone dear to me BECAUSE all of those things would have been better to look at than this girl slapping river-water soaked thighs in quick succession. I had not finished hoping that the entire episode never happened when I heard this...

"That's not how you do it, this is how you do it!" This girl's brother, another person whose BMI level was above recommended, had to show us all how it was done. I was glad I was looking into the woods. I was glad I was not going to have to watch this whole thing happen again. I was glad that the sun was shining and that I was eating a chicken-bacon-ranch wrap. I was even glad that my shoes were full of rocks because it gave me something else to be uncomfortable about. It was all for naught. Suddenly the unimaginable was happening. He was touching me, very close to things that are politically incorrect to mention on a blog posted on the internet. Places that are illegal to talk about in Germany and China. I was being "awkward salmon-ed", this wasn't happening. If someone took a video of what was happening to me, and posted it on YouTube, it would be removed due to YouTube's community guidelines. This kid, that I didn't even know, was doing this to me and I was being mortified. Why was this happening? What makes him think this is appropriate? Once the episode ended I took a bite of my wrap, sipped some hot chocolate, and calmly walked in the opposite direction of anyone. Once I took a few steps it finally dawned on me what happened and I gagged on my food and I accidentally spit my hot chocolate on a stranger. Luckily the stranger was from France, and that was normal in France, so it was wasn't too bad. (I made the hot chocolate part up) But I really did gag on my wrap.

I look back and see one of my fellow raft guides buckled in half with laughter, I was not laughing. I don't like people touching me. I don't like salmon now. All of a sudden I hate all seafood, all seafood. I hate the sea now.

Friday, July 6, 2012

...to have the wheel with one hand, and a PBR in the other (NO! Not me)

First Commercial Trip!!

Was a success. I was originally supposed to just run shuttle but Seth put me on the river instead for my first guiding expedition, eek! Although I was nervous, I remained calm, cool and collected as I steered the heaviest boat of all time down the river. I only missed one hit, Whitewasher, but other than that it was an excellent first run. I also played the "This is my first time card." quite a bit and yes, got some tips. One of the best parts of the trip was when I gave our Herbal Essence joke a try... It goes like this...

Guide "Hey everybody, look at that waterfall over there!"
People In Raft - Turn heads, "ohh, ahh"
Guide "Ya know, they once filmed an Herbal Essence commercial right there by that waterfall"
One of my customers "Oh really?!?! I think I remember that commercial!"
Guide "Well, I definitely just made that up."
Guide and People In Raft 'awkward laughter that turns into normal laughter'

So, after the trip ended and we started loading the boats back on the trailer I got stopped by a kid who works for Magic Falls, someone I recognized from the river,  who asked me if Windfall was doing a play run that night. We had actually thought about doing a play run earlier that morning so I said "Yeah" and we exchanged digits and called each other bro and dude for the next 10 minutes.

Then the night go interesting. Heather, Kyle and I pack up the Sube (with a 350lb boat on the roof) and head to The Forks to meet up with Joe who was bringing some friends with him for our play run.



We arrive and meet Joe, Don, Simon, Tyler, Hannah, Rod, two Brazilian guys, Ashley, Marissa (who met us in The Forks) and some other people who's names I've forgotten and start planning our run. Once I realized that the majority of the party was drunk or high I realized that planning was probably not going to work. So instead we all hopped in the cars and headed up the dam! Halfway there we dropped a car for shuttle and crammed 8 people into my car and 8 other people crammed into Joe's car. At the top of the dam we checked the whiteboard and saw that there would be 6400cfs water running till 8pm, perfect. We unpacked the boats, pumped them up and got ready to rock until we realized that all our cars were no where near the bottom of the river. Ooops, I guess planning REALLY doesn't work while we're bombing down dirt roads and throwing back possibly alcoholic beverages (Once again, not me), but hey! We're in Maine! (insert quip about open container laws and how they should always be followed HERE) PBR is just gross water anyway, so what if a little bit spilled on the leather seats, nbd. Anyway, we want to get on the water asap so Joe and I hand our keys to these Brazilian transfer students from UNH that we had never met, and instruct them to drive carefully back to the Ball Field which was take-out. I literally don't even know if these kids had licenses, but I handed over my most precious Subaru and instructed this new friend that he should drive slowly, and that he should be sober. To which he replied, "Ok" and "I'm sober enough"... I crossed my fingers.

We get the boats in the water and make it about 500yards down river when we notice something very bad. The water was dropping like crazy. The dam had decided that they didn't want to give us water, that Boston had enough power for the day, and so were left rafting the gorge at like 2000cfs. Our plans of cliff jumping, hitting Maytag and running the pourovers in Rock Garden fell apart and instead we paddled our brains out to make it to Carry Brook before all the water went away and we got stuck running the river at 340cfs, which is, the worst.

At this point, Kyle, was celebrating. Against Ashley's advice he had decided to kayak the upper. So when he saw the water dropping he was very glad indeed, low water was much easier for a kayak. So while we frantically paddle ourselves down the river, Kyle whistled a merry tune and got off the hook for a hard gorge run. This isn't to say it wasn't hard, just less hard.

Magic Falls was pretty tricky but other than that we make it Carry Brook unscathed. Now, remember those Brazilian kids who brought our cars to the Ball Field, well... oops, because the water is so low we would barely make it to ball field so instead the girls take a car that we had left at Carry Brook and have to drive to Ball Field, to drive back, and blah blah blah... It took a while, it took long enough for my imagination to start churning with images of burning Subaru's and Brazilian wreckage, but at 9:10 we see headlights and ta-da! The girls brought the cars back yay! Saved...

So even with the water level dropping to an almost unraftable level, and not being able to do any crazy stuff, we still had an awesome time going down the river and meeting some new frrraaannddzzz! Don has decided that Windfall should rename all the rapids to things that apply biblical meaning, (we actually thought this would be a sick idea) and we get to hear more about how Magic Falls runs its operation, as well as Pro River Runners who, by the sounds of it, have almost ended their Kennebec rafting days.

All in all, sick day... The Marshall even opened their kitchen for us and made Kyle, Joe and I burgers and fries at 10:30 at night. We ate them while the boom box played something similar to a Lamb of God song which we all found very inappropriate for eating. Alas, friends made, rivers run, burgers eaten. I'm going to start renaming the rapids now... except I'm actually going to bed because there is trip in the morning. WOOP!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

...to have some bad days, then some good ones

Last Sunday sucked.

No need to sugarcoat it, the day blew and it was directly after Saturday (thanks Rebecca Black) and Saturday was great.

At 9am we hop in a boat laden Subaru and head to Greenville where we have been attending church. Halfway there my tire goes flat and it was only after "Whats that noise?" and "Whats the smell?" did we realize the back left tire had shredded itself. So here we are, Ashley, Marissa and I, changing a tire on the side of the road because God said "Don't go to Church today."

Bummer!!! But, after a possible $600 tire repair the day had to get better right? Nope, not for me anyway.

After lazing around the base we decided to go to the Moose River to practice kayaking. It's a great river to try to catch surfs on and its normally a blast. While Mason and Kyle drove away to shuttle the vehicles I was going to go over a "tiny" waterfall, eddy out, and wait for them, but it was not to be. The "tiny" waterfall flipped me (because I'm still a noob), I lost my air because I forgot nose plugs, I missed my roll, I couldn't grab the handle to pull my skirt and I generally freaked out under water until finally I escaped my boat. At this point my paddle is starting to head down the next set of rapids, a paddle that is not mine, a paddle that I can not lose! I push the kayak as hard as I can away from me and start swimming toward the paddle. I grab my paddle and then swim to go get my boat which is also not mine, which I also cannot lose. The Moose river is like 2-3ft deep and swimming for like 1/4 mile while being berated by boulders and raking myself on rocks was mildly unpleasant. It was the worst swim I've ever had.

Last Monday was much better.

I was able to find a used tire of the same size (Subaru owners know how important this is) in Skowhegan, Kyle and I were able to go to McDonalds and then Andrew showed up later that day! Things were looking good! We ventured down to The Marshall to chat with some more people about coming with us to the Penobscot River the next day and we all enjoyed a burger and beer for $6. (of course, substituting the beer for something with no alcohol) Although we didn't find anyone else to come to the Penobscot with us we did find a very angry girl who's boyfriend had broken up with her, and we watched some crazy videos of guys going over 30ft waterfalls in Rafts in the middle of winter.

Tuesday was the bomb.

We woke up early Tuesday morning, finished loading the cars, fueled up and headed east to The Nob. Mason and Ashley had run the river before but Kyle, Marissa, Andrew and I had not and boy was it sick! We scouted the gorge from the cliffs surrounding it, pointing out lines and talking about angles, when Three River's five boat trip started making there way down the gorge. The first boat made it fine, the second boat (filled with a good number of teenage girls) flipped and we watched them all swim through the Class V rapids knowing that they would never want to raft ever again. But, if 13yr old girls could swim this, psh, we got it for sure. We saddle up the 15ft raft and hit the river with Mason as our guide making it down with no problems at all. Farther down the river is The Cribworks which is another Class V section that Mason navigates with ease. Now it was our turn. After some joking about injuries and recirculation, Kyle, Andrew and I bring the raft back up to the dam for round 2! Here is how our run went...

Ian Guiding the Gorge, Kyle Guiding the Crib

We get back late Tuesday night, exhausted but pumped. The day on The Nob had been incredibly fun and challenging. We all had a blast and no one got hurt! Andrew got a taste of what we do and how we do it (although on a different river). He even guided Pompanoosuc falls once, what a boss.

So from bad to incredible those three days were all something to remember. Having Andrew coming up here was freaking awesome! Hopefully I'll see some more people from down south drive up 201 and pull into the Windfall parking lot.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

...to make money elsewhere, to have fun doing it

So it is true. The long paycheck-less dryspell might be at an end. Today Marissa, Kyle, Heather and I led a group from MRO on a rock climbing trip to Mt. Kineo. It was a great time watching middle schoolers scramble helter-skelter over rocks, roll down hills on golf courses, and say things like "Why can't we take golf carts to the top of the mountain?" and "I'm going to take a golf cart on the highway someday." and "Can I sit on this golf cart?" to which I replied respectively, no no and no. Now finally we find ourselves out of Windfall debt and making money doing fun things like rock climbing trips. Rafting next? I think yes! Luckily, we are here working for more than just our next paycheck. We're here because we love what we're doing and wow hey, look, money comes with this? But really, I think I can say this is an amazing opportunity, working for Windfall, and now this opportunity comes with paychecks.

 Mason has been working hard spreading the word about a fun run on the Penobscot River on Tuesday to the people in The Forks. Tonight Ashley, Marissa, Mason and I threw ourselves into the crowds of drunk raft guides and customers alike at The Marshall. Here we come, Windfall, up the stairs to the bar and the bouncer just looks at us and gives us the under21 wrist bands. "You guys aren't even drinking! So easy." We've been able to make it to The Marshall at least once a week and finally faces are becoming more familiar and we're making new acquaintances and friends. We mingle and mangle and move our way through the crowds looking for familiar faces and being generally awkward because we're The Forks noobs (basically) but we march forth. Just holding a presence, being able to witness to the rafting community with our actions and just trying to be their friends, this is why we are here! We want to show people, for the most part, that Christians can have fun too, that Christianity doesn't suck. Yes, we don't do certain things, (drinking, (because of contract) smoking (because that's just dumb) or whatever) but hey, "Do you want to go raft the Nob with us on tuesday?" "Heck yeah!"

So as Mason tries to spread the word about the Nob trip I was able to contact Andrew about and it and it looks like (at the moment) he's in. So the group for the class V trip on Tuesday will include (hopefully) a bunch of people from The Forks and Andrew. I met a kid up here who works for Pro River Drivers who recognized me from UNH and at the moment he is in too. I'm not counting all my chickens just yet because in this industry things can change last second and people might have to hit the river but hopefully we can get a good group for the Nob trip. But, Don, (from Pro) is spreading the word inside Pro and to other companies in The Forks. Tonight The Marshall was packed because of a firework display that was definitely the most dangerous firework display I had ever attended. I thought I might catch fire at one point, and I can only imagine what the people who were drunk and high were thinking.

Later that night I was able to have a good talk with Landon. I told him what I was up to and he told me about what he was up to, and about his new motorcycle, and about Liz and Kaleigh and what its like to buy a several thousand dollar ring. Hopefully he'll make it up here soon. Even a good bridge jumping session with a familiar face would be fantastic, you don't have to come here to raft!

And to end on a much less exciting note I want to share the suckiest part about being here. The suckiest part about being here is that I can't share every amazing, exciting, dangerous, awesome, fantastic etc. moments with my best friends. I want you guys to come and experience how incredible it is living up here, living in the water. I've been able to do some things here that I may never be able to do again like wakeboarding, or rafting for practice as well as fun, or kayaking various rivers with an excellent guide like Mason. I just wish gas was free as floor you could sleep on in my room (guys only) and people could make it here! That is the only thing that sucks, not being able to share my adventures with my friends.

Tomorrow, kayaking. I might be kayaking the gorge, although the level will be 2400cfs, (if the website is correct) but that is still scary! We'll see how that goes. Church in the morning and then back in the water, good Sunday indeed.














Tuesday, June 19, 2012

...to write some stuff about Maine

So... It's been a while since I've written because there hasn't been much action as of late that compares to the stuff I've already written about. This doesn't mean that nothing exciting has happened, this is Jackman Maine, the most exciting place on earth. Ok, but for real, I'll tell some stories.
Story 1... I accidentally passed a customs officer on 201 going very, very, not slowly... OK enough of that story, moving on now... (He was in a Subaru I had no idea)
Story 2... Finally hit big water with customers. I was kind of supposed to guide but it didn't work out so I jumped in a customer boat with Ashley and hit the 9000cfs preparing for carnage. Luckily our boat, filled with three younger girls, their father and uncle, and this strange brother/sister duo that filled every awkward category imaginable, stayed upright for the entire journey. Mason's boat, filled with an gangly group of hardy men, flipped and then the craziness started. All of a sudden there were 8 or 9 people swimming in the river just a few hundred yards above Zturn. Most made it back in to the boat, the others decided to swim in every direction that would be considered "bad". Example A. One patron started swimming towards another company's raft, bad. Seth, shouting at the top of his lungs, started him swimming in the right direction. Example B. Sunglasses man. Sunglasses man decided it would be a fantastic idea to attempt to swim to shore.  "DO NOT SWIM TO SHORE" reiterated a million times during the safety lecture but there he went; to the shore and right towards a big downed tree, (a strainer). His progress was not impeded by Ashley's screaming of "SWIM TOWARDS THE BOAT". Sunglasses man was relentless. He missed our boat and another one of our rafts picked him up in the middle of Zturn. Later, because Sunglasses man was on a role, Sunglasses man thought it would be hilarious to jump, lemur style, towards my innocent person and drag me into the water. I do not know this man. Here is a full grown man, wearing creepy sunglasses and a maniacal smile and all of a sudden he was pulling me into a river. At this point of guide life I have resigned myself to the fact that it just hurts more to struggle at staying out of the water in such scenarios. So I fell into the river and got back in my boat as Sunglasses man swam away to his next victim. Ok, Big Water day over and it was a blast, even with Sunglasses man.
Story 3... I have picked up whitewater kayaking. After watching people whitwater kayak the gorge I thought to myself, "This can't be hard" but its actually the most difficult thing Ive tried to do in a long time. After smashing my face on the dock while practicing rolling, and practicing rolling, I hit a smaller river nearby and got my first taste of whitewater kayaking. I've been practicing quite a bit, and I still suck, but hopefully this will be something I can be good at by the end of summer.
Story 4... My Mom, Ainsley and Grammy Mary came and visited me today! Well, technically I visited them, in Greenville, but then they came to Jackman and I gave them a quick tour of the town and of MRO. It was great to see some familiar faces. NOW! YOU! Reading this, sitting on your comfy couch hours away from good ol Jackman, COME UP HERE! LETS GO RAFTING

Bonus story... Maybe by the end of the summer I'll be able to do this --> HUCKFEST this is just over and hour away from me on the Dead river.

K, night, bye

Monday, June 4, 2012

...to ride the big water

Now, I want to say first off that I don't exactly plan on posting everyday but today was quite exciting and I thought it would be a good adventure to share. Obviously, I went rafting today. It was a little play boat adventure guided by one of Windfall's seasoned guides so sure to be a good time. Now, remember how I've been saying that we've been rafting at 4800cfs? Well, today, due to the rain, we would be hitting it at roughly 12000cfs, nuts.

We meet Mason down by the Ballfield around 11 and head to Harris Dam, marveling at the amount of water we can see ripping up the banks of the Kennebec. The rain is going to make things a bit different today, killer of course, but different. Mason, with his new creek-boat (a more buoyant, super special, really cool, blue, beat up, kayak), meets us at the bottom of the stairs next to Harris Dam and we can barely believe what we're looking at. The water coming out of the dam looked unreal! So much whitewater was shooting down the concrete mega-structure, it was so.... cool! Without further ado Heather, Marissa, Kyle, Ashley (as guide) and I hit the water. Now, when I say everything is different it really is true. Waves at 4800cfs that would be killer are nonexistent while new waves appear and other waves get much much more massive. One wave that just gets bigger and bigger at higher cfs levels is Big Momma and the Three Sisters. We were told to avoid it or hit it with full force and crush through it. So, Ashley makes a good approach a bit to the left of Big Momma and everything seems to be going ok until we get into the Sisters. First sister turns us a little, second sister turns us a bit more, and then we head into sister 3 completely sideways, bad. Now, to get this into better perspective you have to picture how big these waves are. I would say that from the bottom of the approach to the breaking point of the wave would be roughly 25 feet. It was this wall of impenetrable whitewater that flipped us. That is our 350lb boat, filled with 5 people, dumptrucked completely by the same stuff that you take a shower with. I hold onto my paddle, remembering my training, (a guide is useless without his paddle) as I fly into the water with 4 other people. Luckily, our boat landed right side up and I swim as hard as I can over to it and climb aboard with Kyle and Marissa. Then several things start to happen at once. We get Heather in the boat and then realize we're missing someone, Ashley! At this point she is about 30 yards away from the boat getting swept downstream by the current. We have to get her but OH NO! Heather and I were the only ones who held on to our paddles! We only have two paddles! And then we look out to see that one of our throwlines is trailing in the water, something that needs to be fixed immediately. Having 50 feet of rope trailing around your boat is one of the most dangerous hazards on the river. This could snag anything and drag our boat under the current, or into the shore, at any moment. Heather and I start reeling it in and Heather begins stuffing the rope back into the throwbag. At this point our boat is pin-balling out of control through the Alleyway while we try to regain our positions and get down to Cathedral Eddy. Marissa has been up front stabbing at the water with the only paddle we have to do any paddling with. I take over paddling and with Kyle at the helm and we survive the Lower Alleyway. Just before we eddy out I see another one of our paddles floating in the current, just out of reach of the boat. I make a split second decision and launch myself off the raft, back into the current, in the direction of the paddle. I grab it and begin swimming back to boat where Heather helps me in and we eventually eddy out. WHEW. Craziness over. We find Ashley holding on to Mason's creek boat and she climbs back in and regains the guide spot. Now that we have three paddles, and Ashley, we make it down the rest of the river with ease. Magic and Maytag were washed out at this point. By noon the dam was supposed to be releasing 12700cfs and adding the water from the creeks and streams that empty into the Kennebec we probably hit Maytag at 14000cfs so the 20ft wave was easy to smash through when t'd-up at. And that was it. Big Water on the Kennebec. We survived and drove away with warm clothes (because we weren't training anymore we could change) and a new appreciation for the river that we call home.

Next, after a lunch at Three Rivers, Mason, Kyle and I go adventuring. Mason had heard a tale of a river called Parlin that was an amazing class V at the right water level. After some searching around various logging roads we find it and it literally blew us away. The "small" river was a torrent of water moving so fast that if any of us had fallen in we would have most likely died. The crashing, pounding water shot down a gorge with an unreal ferocity. I'm not even going to try to explain it because well, I took pictures. (Check Facebook soon) Technically it could be classified at class VI because no one had ever gone down it at such a high level of cfs. It was normally a class V due to the numerous amount of "must" make moves linked together for over a mile. It was just crazy. The river was left un-kayaked and respected but we drove out with a new spot to kayak (at lower levels) in the future and some pretty sweet pictures.

Ok, I think that's it! We had a chill evening at the Boronows with the MRO crew and then we all peaced out for bed. Like I said at the beginning of this I don't exactly plan on writing everyday. What I can plan on is writing about exciting days like this one where mad shiz goes down. Tomorrow I think I'll be driving with Kyle to his root-canal appointment haha, exciting!!!

Alright y'all that's all I got for now, keep checking this thing for tales of adventure!!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

...for this


Guide Journal
                Its day five or six and I thought I should put some thoughts down in ink before I slowly begin to forget them. These past few days have been mad hard, some say… the hardest… but being instructed under Seth and Mason has proved to be a doable affair, albeit extremely challenging. It took a while for us to get into the cycle we are currently in due the difficulty of learning the basic daily tasks that every Maine white water rafting guide must do. Mostly, this involves inflating, deflating, inflating, deflating, moving, inflating, deflating, stacking, softening, inflating, sloppying and chuck-and-ducking 350lb boats… over and over and over… ok you get the picture. After we semi-mastered this step we moved onto the water on day two, the lower branch of the Penobscot River.

Day 2: Saturday:  Something was wrong immediately. Something that had nothing to do with waking up at 4:30am, nothing to do with tying down our rafts, nothing to do with the 2.5hr car ride, the something that was wrong was the weather. Now, normally, the weather during guide training has been a mix of terrible and miserable but our first day on the water was a balmy 70°, mostly sunny, gorgeous day. I would say that it was an excellent day to have a birthday, yay 21! Normally a birthday like this would involve quite a bit of alcohol while sitting around a bar and being slapped on the back and reminded of how old I now was. Not this 21st birthday though. And even though I may have dreamed throwing back a few legal Sam Adams I was perfectly content sitting in raft, 50 or so miles from the closest bar. We spent all day in the water learning our guide strokes and capsizing our rafts in the current of the Nob under breathtaking views of Katahdin. Yes it was a sunny magnificent day, but someone forgot to turn the temperature of the water up. The Nob was a frigid 50°ish degrees that would make your teeth chatter in seconds regardless of how nice a wetsuit you were wearing or how much of a sweat you were working up. It was like taking ice cream, turning it into liquid, making it much less sticky, and swimming in it. Brain freeze water. “But yeah it’s so pretty!” Well it’s not really that pretty either.  The water in the upper regions of Maine is black as Coca-Cola, it’s hard to see anything more than a foot or two down. Guess what? The rocks are black too! This makes avoiding those hunks of earth a bit more difficult. BUT! It’s day 2… no need to worry about avoiding rocks in class 1 rapids. (boring right?) It gets more exciting. After rafting out of the lower branch of the Penobscot we head to the West Branch for our first look at some class V’s, and a bit of class on hydrology. The West Branch of the Penobscot is an unreal river. With hits that have names like “Exterminator” and “Wailing Wall” you can imagine how nutty this stretch of river looks. Someday I might get trained to run these commercially but for now I’ll sit on the rock ledge overlooking the Crib Works and stare at it in awe. I thought I would get a birthday present to see someone kayak the section and sure enough someone shows up! But they avoided every hit and then got out of the river and walked around, for real? Wimps! Before I jump into day three I have to deflate some rafts, and then inflate them, and then make them sloppy so hold on for a sec. Also, Moose.

Day 3: Sunday  :  Easy day for the most part. We finally venture out on to the Kennebec which is our most rafted river. Here is how this river works. Every day the hydroelectric dam that powers Boston MA must let raftable water (4800cfs) out of the dam between 10am-1pm. This means that there is a three hour window where every company rafts, starting their daily journey down river under the shadow of the behemoth hydroelectric dam. Windfall is hosting a commercial trip today as well so we’re rafting with a total of close to 30people. Our boat, guided expertly by Seth, is a “baby” 13footer as opposed to the normal 15 footers that the customers are being guided in. So, this was my first day on the river and I can say with confidence that I was indeed mighty excited. The Kennebec River has class II-IV rapids and is a crazy bunch of fun. Seth hit every wave on the commercial line and we had a killer time through the gorge. I got eddy dumped, which occurs when the front of the boat goes under the water when exiting an eddy. It’s a good way to knock people out of your boat and definitely one of the safest. I fell out again somewhere else farther down the river but made it to the lunch spot in one piece. Lunch, chicken bacon wraps, delicious. Then we hit the much tamer lower Kennebec and rafted to the end of our journey. This was a quicker day, due to the commercial trip, but it gave us some valuable experience of how Windfall worked and how the river acted at 4800cfs. That night, after deflating, inflating, stacking, and dishes, we had class and started memorizing the Kennebec River. Every rapid, big wave, hole, hydraulic, eddy, and section of the river has a name and all need to be learned for our upcoming test. Mason set up a model Kennebec using throw rope and rocks and we began implanting the image of the river into our minds. (At this point all the girls began scribbling the names of the river’s features on various pieces of paper while Kyle and I looked at the river on the ground in confidence) After a bit more class we went to bed in expectation of our 5am wakeup.

Day 4: Monday:  Our first all day river experience began today with an early start. Tuesday morning opened bright, early and sunny as we set off down rt201 towards Harris Dam. We brought 8 boats today in expectation of having water for a good part of the day and to get into the mold of Kennebec training immediately. Guiding is hard, no doubt about it, and navigating the 15ft boat down the river the first time was a nerve wracking experience for sure. I watched my roommate Kyle lay down a money run on his first try and then all of a sudden I was up to bat. My run went smoothly for my first time, I guess. I didn’t hit a hole, or a bad pourover, or a horrible wave and I got the boat to Cary Brook in one piece. Cary Brook is our halfway point on the Kennebec for training. It has a staircase reminiscent of the biggest stair case the Wilds of NC has to offer, yet its soaking wet and your carrying gear and an extra 10lbs of water weight up it 2 or 3 times a day. A workout, to say the least. The girls guided the river after Kyle and I and we got 4 boats (2 at a time) down the river at an easy 4800cfs. The last two boats of the day were going to be heading down the river at 1000cfs, which neither Seth nor Mason had navigated before, so the challenge increased tremendously. It was my turn to guide again, and I did the best I could, but I really had a very small idea of what I was actually doing. Every guide must know the commercial lines of the Kennebec River. This line is put into place to give guides a safe route down the river that is still dangerous to an extent, but less dangerous than other lines that a guide could choose. This commercial line was almost non-existent at 1000cfs so we kind of had to make a new one. Seth jumped into my guide seat a few times to save my life, his life, and everyone else’s life that was in the boat during the run. We made it to Carry Brook unscathed, thanks to Seth and Mason’s amazing ability to read the river, and started the long and arduous journey down the lower Kennebec to Ballfield where we would load the boats and head back to base. Seth and Mason hit the slow moving river in their own boat before us trainees had gotten all the other boats (the ones waiting for us at Carry Brook (Remember those stairs? We raft to Carry Brook, tie the boats, hike the stairs, get in the van and head back to Harris Dam)) untied. So, Kyle went first, navigating his boat which was tied to two other boats in a stacked-train looking thing, I followed in one boat, and the three girls were needlessly abandoned in their own boats as us men took off down the river. Now, in hindsight, it was quite mean. Seth and Mason ended up waiting so long for the girls that they hiked back up the river to go find them while Kyle and I created an uber raft and slept during the three hour journey to Ballfield. We learned our lesson and promised to do a better job the next day. That night we dined on Cathy’s (Seth’s wife) delicious cooking and had class till about 10. Another day on the Kennebec in the books.

Day 5: Tuesday:  Ok, waking up early has started to become more difficult. To make matters worse; we pull past the guard station at Harris Dam just as the sky opens up with thunder and lightning and all the good things that come with that. Undeterred we begin pumping up the boats in the downpour, in the middle of a field, with a pump up machine called a squid that runs off of electricity. RAFTING!! Every morning the field is covered in trainees from roughly a dozen companies all with the same goal, become a guide. The rain had not stopped the Windfall crew or any other crew from the daily morning tasks. On a brighter side we had Jen cheering us on!! We would find out that day five would have been much harder without Jen’s constant encouragement. The rain eventually stops, the dam sirens go off and the water is released as we start rafting. The routine stays roughly the same. 8 boats, 4 trips, miles and miles of whitewater and we’re practicing our guide strokes on the Kennebec. Now, there are three things that I have been fighting with mentally and physically a bit more than everything else. #1 the bugs. UNREAL. Heather, a fellow trainee had to be rushed to the urgent care center because the black fly bites had become so bad she was having trouble seeing. Not to delve into her personal life too much but she did share with us that she woke up one night in tears from the mental/physical pain that these things cause. Kyle was attacked pretty heavily as well, with so many bug bites on his face it looked like he had severe acne. The rest of us were more fortunate when it came to the insects but they still SUCK. #2 The Sun. No matter how much sunscreen I put on I still got roasted. I had trouble sleeping just because my hands and face felt like they were on fire. Now, the Sun is definitely better than rain I must add but this constant burning has been terrible. #3 Swimmer’s Rapid. Just past Magic there is a section of the Kennebec called Swimmers Rapid where customers are encouraged to swim through due to its depth and safety. Everyday our troupe is tossed in the ice water to practice getting in the raft. Now, you might be thinking, “How can that be hard?” Well it is punk! Not for Kyle and I, but the girls fight the daily battle of getting back into the boat every time we get to Swimmers. And if it isn’t the inability of getting back in the boat that frustrates you it’s the temperature of the water. I was freezing, every day, so cold. So many layers of polypropylene and I was still glacial. But, trying not to complain I jumped in the water every time with my fellow trainees and shivered till Carry Brook where I would warm up a bit running up the stairs and warm up a lot inside out Windfall van. Might I add that sitting in a van soaking wet is becoming more familiar every day. There are so many small things that could bother you that you just have to ignore. Squishy miserable wetsuit in a cramped van became the norm, a ‘no-big-deal’ where otherwise I would kill to change my clothes. Of course, time would never allow and it would be unpractical in almost every single way. You just had to deal. Ok, so where was I? Kennebec Day 5. The day remained overcast, the rain held off, and we got all four runs in and made it to Ballfield. My third time guiding was ok, I’m still getting the hang of it. I better figure this out soon, I’m supposed to be a pro by guided trip #5 yeeeeek!!! That night, food (Thanks Cathy!) class and bed. Which, actually I’m going to bed right now. I think we have day #8 tomorrow yee-haw!! Flip boat in the gorge training maybe? I’ll find out soon…

Day #6 Wednesday :  So the days have certainly molded into one another and as I sit to write this I am finding it quite hard to recall specific details of day 6. What I do know for certain is that we rafted a lot. Water water water more water and cold cold stuff it remained. Wednesday, hmm… OH! I’ll start with this. The staging area is such an interesting place in the mornings before rafting starts at 10am. There are 4 or 5 other companies who are also training during this week so naturally there is a bit of competition. One company, Magic Falls, thinks they’re the shiznad one morning and challenges us to a completely pointless throwbag stuffing competition. Like, there is no circumstance in the entire rafting world where 4 people would stuff a throwbag but apparently Magic practiced this quite extensively. So, Magic with multiple-people-throwbag-stuffing-practice challenged Windfall (who has certainly never practiced this because it makes no sense) to their little duel. Of course, we get whipped, and made fun of, and asked if we had forgotten to change our tampons, and told a host of other mean things that make perfect sense considering the industry. But that is just it. Windfall is here to represent a Christ like attitude in the rafting industry and yes we did blame our loss on lack of practice but for the most part we held our tongues. Windfall has a much different approach to training. Magic falls, Three Rivers and I’m sure some other companies, beat the crap out their trainees. They train twice as many people as they’re going to keep and then beat the living daylights out of them like a military bootcamp. These trainees sleep in tents behind their rafting company’s dumpsters or in random campsites and then endure 10 days of pain only to watch half the group wither away due to the stress. Magic hires so many because so many people just can’t make it through training. Windfall trains as many people as they need because Seth and Mason believe they can make ANYONE a raft guide with proper training. And instead of having the trainers beat the crap out of the trainees; Seth and Mason let the river do the lashing. And lash it does. So we can take a few jibes from another company’s girl trainee who thinks she hot stuff. We’ll call her Trisha because we’ll be re-visiting her later. Back on the river; well I know I did two runs this day. I know the river pretty well at this point in the game. Stay away from the pourovers, goodbye hole, raft ripper and kayak keeper, ok got it… OH! I remembered something. My first run was miserable. I missed basically everything except the first wave and the unfortunate rafting trip continued. Ok, so the only class IV on the river is a pretty tricky hit. You have to 45° to a whale tail, kiss a pourover and TELL YOUR CUSTOMERS TO PADDLE. I forgot that last part on my first drop and ended up doing what is called a double-drop which gets the raft precariously close to a big nasty rock. Ooops. But, survived and cleaned up the end of the run pretty well. Mason had been my guide and for some reason I was always having trouble when he was in my raft. It continued the next day but after sitting customer for a ride and climbing many stairs and swimming I was up again to guide with Seth. I nailed the run 100% better than my previous. I missed all the bad stuff, hit most of the good stuff and even remembered to have my crew paddle! Solid. The day ended with a long ride down the lower half of the Kennebec with Heather and Seth. The lower, being unreasonably cold and boring, was much better today with warmer weather and good conversation. Everyone’s habits and mannerisms are becoming more apparent at this point in the game and our team is coming together, or falling apart. Because there are only 5 of us trainees it would suck to be getting on each other’s nerves so for the most part we’re an excellent team. And, we’re all living together at Windfall so we better like each other now or it will be a long summer. Heather and Seth and I swapped stories and what not all the way down the river. Heather is getting married, booorrriiinnnggg… Everyone is getting married these days! It’s like we’re growing up finally. Fleeing the parent’s coupe and running off with some maiden or male version of whatever a maiden is. One of my best friends, Landon, is getting married too. Of course, I can’t say I’m not happy that all these folks that are tying the knot that only a court can untie but like, I think this is all too soon. For me anyway. I’m never getting married. I’m going to keep rocking flatbrims and never grow up. Yup. Never growing up. Ok, tangent. That night, after loading over 2,000lbs of boats on the trailer, we made it home, had a marvelous dinner, and broke out our binders for some more class. After class, bedtime.

Day #7: Thursday:  Wakeup, two bowls of Special K, two PB&J’s in the backpack, wetsuit on and I head out the door. Honestly it’s becoming hard to differentiate the day’s activities. I’ve been writing this once every two or three days due to my exhaustion at the end of a long day. I’m sure that most of these activities have the possibility of being listed on the wrong day but I’m doing the best I can! As far as I remember nothing particularly exciting happened, EXCEPT THIS… I’m guiding first with Mason and Kyle. Once again the ride was much less a failure. I wasn’t doing too badly, but I should be better. Mason jumped out of the raft to simulate a clumsy customer and I signaled and got him in nice and quick, then all hell broke loose. We enter upper alleyway and see a Magic boat had eddied out right in the alleyway, a strange thing to do. Upon further inspection we see that one of the Magic trainees is laying on her back with a look of obvious pain. Immedietly Mason yells “GET IN THAT EDDIE!!” and he starts blowing his Fox40 like mad and signaling to our boat but our boat is too far up stream to see us. (bad spacing) Then Mason accidentally falls out of the boat in the rapids and we miss the eddy that Magic was sitting in. I get Mason back in the boat and he takes control over the guide spot. We get to the next eddy and wait for the magic boat and our boat. The magic boat pulls in first with the shocked girl and Kyle and I realize that “HA! Its Trisha!” Now, not the nicest thing to be thinking but after the fat chick had mouthed off to us we were somewhat enjoying this retribution of the river gods. Mason communicates with the Magic trainer, asks if we can help, and then we carry on our merry way. We would find out later that she fell out of the boat, but her leg stayed in giving her knee a nice hyperextension. Lay off the Twinkies? Anyway, the rest of the run went all right but I was still a bit frazzled after the fiasco. We rafted until we ran out of boats and hit the faster moving lower, making good time, and get home around 7:30. A long day on the river indeed. But that didn’t stop class, oh no! Class, then bed.

Day #8: Friday : I’m starting to run out of cereal and Wonderbread. As I pour the last crumbs out of my Special K box into a bowl that’s about the size of cup holder I realize it’s a perfect metaphor. I don’t know what of quite yet but it would have something to do with running out of something. Like, time or money (classic) or hopes and dreams. But, at 5am all I can think of is “Dangit… I’m hungry.” Luckily the whole milk makes the small bowl of cereal that much more filling. Grab a pop-tart and I hit the road with the crew. Big day today. We brought 4 baby’s and 6 normal rafts which, water depending, would be 5 runs worth of boats. We didn’t get far before our first fiasco showed up. On the road to West Forks Mason has a panic attack regarding his carbon fiber paddle which, I might add, costs the equivalent of 1/3 the purchase price of my Volvo. But, the paddle was found, undamaged and we got back on the dead-moose ridden rt201. These truck drivers up here plow into the strange looking horses with antlers like they’re nothing. Just leaving a line of wreckage that is much less important that the loads of logs they’re hauling around at 80mph. The weather is looking killer today and we have water till 6pm at 4800cfs so we get right into the activities with a spring in our step. After one normal run our bus driver Ed has a good training idea. Seth and Mason get into a boat in front of us and we’re told to follow them. The girls are up for some guiding and we make it down the river successfully twice. Seth and Mason kept rafting in the bad stuff to try to get one of the girl guides to follow but they kept their commercial lines and it went great. My turn. This one will be a bit different. This is flip boat training. Mason takes the lead in a raft by himself and I guide the raft filled with us five trainees and Seth. We get to Whitewasher and I turn the boat at Big Kahuna so Seth can flip it. After almost failing I get the boat sideways and the boat flips over. Next. This is hard. Getting into the boat when its right side up is pretty easy; lock your arms, kick the water and boom you’re in. When the boat is upside down there is really no rhyme or reason as to how to get in the boat. You just have to do it. As the guide I’m supposed to be the first in the boat. I crawl my way onto the upside down boat as best I could and then haul some of the other trainees on top of the raft with me. We get back into positions as best as we can and paddle the capsized raft into calmer water where, with a bit of teamwork, we flip it back over and get in. Flip boat training success. The rest of the day went on without incident and we rafted the boring lower and went home to warm clothes, food, class and bed.

Day #9 Saturday  : I’ve given up on breakfast for the most part. A pop-tart with some Gatorade and a side of doxycyline do me just fine as I rush around the base getting all my stuff together. Getting my still moist wetsuit over my borrowed wet fleece longjohns is the worst part of every morning and today is no exception. Luckily I find an extra pair of wool socks that haven’t been worn yet and my cozy feet warm the rest of my body all the way to Harris Dam where I then get them soaked in the 50° water almost immediately. Still, the Smartwools on my feet seem to erase the rain that is falling on my face, the rain that is chilling me to the bone even before I start swimming. The dam sirens blare with a nuclear apocalypse feel and the water releases at 4800cfs. Seth rasps a heart “Rafting!” and the day gets under way. I was a customer for all the runs I was on in the river. Just paddling and paddling and paddling some more. I almost got ripped out of the boat by Magic at one point; I flew back as the force of the 12ft wave hit me in the chest and Seth’s helmeted head went into my back (See kids, we wear helmets for a reason) but I maintained hold on the boat and my paddle and we made it down the falls. The next two runs involved a bunch more paddling and then I finally got a break. Because there was a commercial trip going down the river today we were short a bus driver so Seth and Mason had Kyle, Marissa and I drive the van to Cary Brook. Once it was my turn to do so I took it nice and slow on Take Out rd, which resembles a logging road that was bombed out at one point, and park the van to ready my gear for the lower Kennebec. My hands looked like they needed some more sunscreen so I liberally applied them with my Coppertone and then decided to do the same to my nose. I missed my nose and sprayed the sunscreen directly into my left eye. Now, this wasn’t like a minor miss where it stings a bit, this was full blow spraying of sunscreen into my eyeball. I was blind and I needed to climb down the stairs and meet our group immediately. I take a few seconds to try to recover and then hear Seth calling my name, I guess I drove too slowly because now I’m late. At this point I was supposed to be ready to rock at the bottom of Cary Brook stairs, jumping into a raft with Kyle and helping him ride the last bit of 4800cfs down the river. Instead I was crying on the rear bumper of a Dodge Van trying to clear my eyes so I could find my 13 articles of clothing I would need. Seth is now somewhere near me encouraging me hurry up so I grab a random pile of what I hope is my clothes, paddle, life jacket, helmet, fleece and what not and run in the general direction of the completely not OSHA certified stair case. I try to go as fast as possible, running into low slung branches and tripping over rocks like I’m completely wasted due to inability to see anything and lack of depth perception, all the while Kyle is telling me to get going. “I don’t want to miss that bubble man!” He says, and neither do I. I jump into the closest boat and start paddling wildly while trying to fling water onto my face. The waterproof sunscreen took about an hour of washing to remove but we made it down the lower like a bunch of GCB’s and survived another day on the lower. The rain had kept most of the bugs away and the sun wasn’t too bad but it was mad cold. Every wave that made its way over the side of the raft was like an icy slap in the face, testing my raingear and my patience. (Kyle’s too) Of course, we were fine and we headed home. That night we learned how to do a Z drag, and how to use a fire extinguisher (Because things definitely catch fire on a river, all the time) to satisfy some requirements and then we head to bed.

Day #10 Sunday  : We got to sleep in a bit today, 6:30, yess… I’m up and about packing my lunch and looking out the window at the rain pouring down; It’s going to be cold today. Then suddenly a ray of sunshine breaks through, ITS SETH! He talks with Mason in hushed terms, mysteriously as usual, and then announces that we aren’t rafting today. I get to go to bed? I haven’t slept past 5:30 in a week! How am I going to manage going back to bed? I hopped back under the covers and somehow found it in myself to fall instantly asleep, how weird. I was awoken a few hours later by the smell of French toast wafting through my curtain “door”. The girls are making breakfast, happy Sunday! We eat a good breakfast and lounge around the base, studying and sleeping, until it’s time to head up to MRO for our test, THE test. The test we have to pass to get into this gig for real. MRO is treating us well when we get there with endless donuts and rice crispy treats. I stick some rice crispy treat in a mounted fish’s open mouth on the wall and grab some hot cocoa. A few guides-to-hopefully-be pull in from Magic, Dead River Exp, and Moxie and join our last mini study session. At this point in the game we have most of the material down pretty good, but these tests are tricky. Test time. After answering 78 questions (50 of them being completely arguable) I hand in my test. The test lady grades my paper, 9 wrong, solid work bro. And that’s it. Craig Boronow and Seth give me a high five as I enter the kitchen as an official whitewater guide. We have a celebration at Seth’s house with a bunch of the other guides and MRO employees and then Kyle and I head back to base to clean up and fix things.

       So what’s next? I made it, along with a bunch of other great trainees, but where should I go from here? Actually, I probably know. I’ll go rafting. Tomorrow in fact! Well, unless it’s raining. I also can’t find the pair of awesome fleece pants that have been keeping me warm all week so maybe I’ll sleep in. I DON’T KNOW! At this point in the game I find that it would be best to just chill for a bit. Have some play days on the river with more experienced guides and hone my skills before I have to bring actual customers down class III and IV rapids. YEEK! I truly can’t wait for this season to get under way. At this point we are about two weeks from any type of business and I look at that as two weeks to practice, as long as it’s not raining, or snowing or hailing or something. But there are also a bunch of other opportunities for growth with MRO. I could get my lifeguard cert, learn how to lead rock climbing trips, water fall trips or just hike around the gorgeous part of Maine that I will officially be calling home all summer. I wish I had brought my longboard. The hills around here are amazing; flat, smooth and huge with the occasional logging truck speeding along at life threatening speeds; longboarders paradise. But alas, it’s sitting in my room along with a menagerie of other things I wish I had brought here to Windfall. Can’t complain though, this town is amazing. The uniqueness of a small town like Jackman Maine is what a real journalist dreams of. I want to take a camera around the town and take a picture of every rusted out car sitting on people’s lawns, and every empty hotel awaiting rafting guests, and every restaurant and bar that has a sign like “snowmobilers welcome” “anglers welcome”, this place is so amazing. I had read in Michelle Boronow’s blog that there was a man that took his lawnmower into town every night to do some shopping or something. My first night here while walking back from Bishop’s I see him. Orange riding lawn mower with a mulching trailer cruising down the sidewalk with an old man at the controls. He throws up a wave and flashes a smile looking like the happiest lawnmowingintotown man I’ve ever seen. And this is normal! I walked past an old shabby looking house and in the front lawn, back lawn, driveway and everywhere else goes this girl, about 8 years old, zooming around on a gas powered go cart. She’s whipping the thing around like Jeremy Clarkson as her apparent younger brother held on for dear life. Jackman Maine, the definition of small town America. This is where I’ll be living, and I couldn’t be happier. Not only am I under two of the best rafting guides I’ve ever seen, learning new things every day, I’m working for a company that works for God by giving every customer at least one positive experience everyday on the river. So I’ll end with this. Please get up and have a positive experience already! Come rafting! And I’m not doing this to advertise, I honestly believe every person that comes rafting has the chance to have the time of their life. And of course I want to see some of y’all, but I want to see you in raft, zipping down the Kennebec just slaying it.